The Juvenile Retiree - The Juvenile Retiree

2017 lessons learned

The Juvenile Retiree — Tue, 02 Jan 2018 00:00:00 GMT

I was inspired to write this by Pat at Retirement Transition. She so clearly articulates her 2017 accomplishments and I thought doing a year-end review would be useful to me as well. Like me, she is a “corporate refugee” so what she says really resonates since I also suffer from some of the same issues.

I was (am) an enthusiastic early retiree. But a very disorganized one who has been a bit helpless without the day-to-day bubble I used to live in. At the beginning of last year, I finally figured out that I had to build some meaningful structure in my life to move forward.

What I said in early 2017

While 2017 wasn’t perfect, I still feel good about it overall. I started out with these goals in mind.

Make decisions
Get organized
Limit screentime (i.e. stop wasting time)
Continue personal learning and development

My challenge words were “focus” and “just do it”.

How Did I Do?

I give myself a B-. I did make progress and am on the right track but need stretch myself even further.

Did Well.

Making Decisions
– I was stuck in no man’s land for a while, frozen by the amount of choice there was. In 2017, I decided to just say “yes” to opportunities and put myself out there. It was the right call.
Structure and Income
– Project Coordinator with Photographers Without Borders, a not-for-profit organization that finds small grassroots NGOs (non-governmental organizations) and matches them with professional photographers. The resulting photography amplifies the story of the NGO. I look for NGOs across the world and co-ordinate projects through to completion. This is a 12 month commitment which requires 10-20 hours per week.
– Part time marketing and social media work for a local health clinic.
– Online transcription normally M-F in the early evenings.
Personal Learning and Development.
– I completed my Social Media certificate.
– I started to learn Spanish
– Volunteered for a local marketing association and did their email blasts for 4 months.
– Joined another Tai Chi club that teaches a more traditional and strenuous form than the one I was practicing before.
Making Connections
– At least one or two face-to-face social engagements per week.
– Networked by joining several Meet-up groups and attending their events
– Volunteered at cultural events including the Toronto Film Festival where I met a lot of fun people and honestly, had a great time.

do better

Income. While I am officially retired, I feel a need to generate income (albeit on a part time basis). I am well below the goal that I set for myself
Blogging. I gave up on it for 8 months. But I came back. I figure that I can still blog even while I figure out how to get where I want to go.
Focus and organization. Definitely a DO BETTER in 2018. These are not natural characteristics for me.
Procrastination. The flip side to procrastination is productivity. I want (no, I need) to be more productive in 2018.
Harness the negativity. I still feel guilty and compare myself to other people.

Organizing my thoughts for 2018 and building upon the progress that I made in 2017 are priorities. I’m not making any resolutions but I will define goals that are practical and achievable and laid out in a way that works for me.

I’m looking forward to it.

Season’s Greetings from a Christmas Minimalist

The Juvenile Retiree — Mon, 18 Dec 2017 00:00:00 GMT

I’ve never been one of those bubbly people who sparkles during the holiday season. I am more of the Meredith Grey type, a bit dark and twisty. I am also one of those people who believe that Christmas has become a massive marketing campaign – overlong, overdone and overbearing.

But I’m not a complete bah humbug, Debbie downer type either. I enjoy eating and drinking with friends and family. I allow myself to eat Lindt chocolate balls even though each one contains 4.5g of saturated fat and 80 calories. I sing Christmas carols in the car. There are lights strung up outside my house, and my Christmas tree is up and decorated. I get my annual fix of the Sound of Music. And I buy gifts.

So, maybe I’ve become a Christmas minimalist of sorts.

It Used to be Bad

When my kids were small, I bought gifts for everyone. Their teachers, coaches, babysitters, neighbours, our friends’ kids, family members of and of course, my own kids. I think I had over 60 recipients at one point. In those days, I would start to feel the pressure the day after Hallowe’en. Gift giving was time consuming, stressful and strained my pocketbook. I tried hard to come up with budget friendly ideas and would shop warehouse sales and then package items so that they looked more expensive than they were. Finally, I’d force myself to do all the wrapping on the 2nd or 3rd Saturday evening in December. I’d start around 9PM and would not stop until every last gift was wrapped and ticketed with my custom made tags.

the minimalist inspiration

Years ago, a friend’s boyfriend thought that spending anything less then $1,000 in gifts was not good enough for his only nephew. My friend did not have that kind of money but still scraped together several hundred dollars to lavish gifts on this boy who, by the way, did not need a single thing she gave him. And quite frankly, did not appreciate them.

She also bought gifts for all her co-workers, friends, neighbourhood kids, service workers, all sorts of people. With some members of her family, she would accumulate items over several months and at Christmas, would spend a couple hundred dollars to ship these large, heavy boxes. This was a woman who did not earn much and was even unemployed for a while. She would spend money she did not have to buy presents she could not afford.

I think about her situation every Christmas. I know I judged her at the time. I thought that she felt that she had to give a lot of gifts in order to be liked (that’s my dark and twisty side speaking). Looking at it now, maybe it just made her feel good. I don’t know.

But for myself, I gave so many gifts out of a sense of obligation that sprung from having children. And okay, maybe some of it was trying to impress people with my creativity. I know that only a few of those gifts actually came from my heart.

I shudder when I think about those years. It’s not that I don’t enjoy gift giving. I just don’t enjoy buying for the sake of buying. And I hate when gift giving creates a sense of obligation. And I really don’t like the one-upmanship that some people indulge in or the expectation that you need to spend a lot of money.

How to be a Christmas minimalist

While I consider myself just a “wanna be” minimalist, I am getting better at it as the years pass.

DO buy or make consumables. They land in peoples’ stomachs, not in landfills. Who doesn’t love bottles of olive oil, cava and packages of jamon brought back from Spain during a recent holiday? Or some locally made smokey balsamic vinegar? Or mango salsa (homemade but not by me) delicious on that Christmas tourtiere. For myself, I am hoping my daughter makes me some of her super yummy date squares.
DO buy or make experiences. This year I am hoping for a gift certificate to a spa. That would beat the Apple Operating System for Dummies book from last year. For nieces and nephews, I am getting them movie gift cards. For my family, I am thinking of booking one of those murder mystery dinners or scavenger hunts over the holidays. It’ll be fun and something we will remember down the road.
DO DIY. Last year, I made dozens of bath bombs, packaged them and gave them as gifts to the staff at my mother’s nursing home. This year, I’m getting a friend to mix some soothing essential oil blends along with some homemade soap. I’ve got some other great recipes for body wash, lip balms, sea salt scrubs, and body butters that I could use to make personal gifts for friends and family.
DON’T add to landfills. Not to be negative but I find the amount of waste that North Americans produce truly appalling. Take a look at where our fast fashion ends up. I want to actively minimize my participation in activities that add to environmental destruction. We all should.

So from my minimalist perspective, gift giving is fine. It’s about creating a positive experience or feeling for the recipient. And that doesn’t necessarily mean that it takes a lot of money or time to accomplish that. It’s not about me anymore. And as a result, I’m enjoying it more.

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy New Year!

What is my Purpose?

The Juvenile Retiree — Tue, 28 Nov 2017 00:00:00 GMT

When you Google the word “purpose”, this is the definition that comes up:

The reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.

What is my purpose?

This is one of the questions you ask when you’re trying to find the meaning of life and your role in it. I know what it was before. When I was a young girl, my purpose was to listen to my parents, do well in school and practice piano. As I grew older, it was to finish university, find a job, get married and have kids. While I did get side-tracked for a couple of years and kicked around Europe, I pretty much stuck to the plan. As an adult, I got married, bought a home and had kids. My purpose then, was to pay down the mortgage, be a good mom and do my best at my job.

I think that I have mixed up purpose with other words like role, expectation, obligation.

I just read this article called How to Find Your Life Purpose: An Unconventional Approach. Leo talks about personal bubbles and how we need to break out from them. Bubbles are places where we are the centre of the universe, feel safe and comfortable. Leaving the bubble makes us uncomfortable. But when we do, we get a broader view of the world and the people in it. We acknowledge our shortfalls and learn new skills. We become bigger than ourselves. And only then can we move beyond ourselves to a greater sense of purpose.

I agree with Leo. I spent years unknowingly stuck firmly in my bubble. Now that I have exited the hamster wheel and my kids have moved into adulthood, it’s easier for me to see this.

But It’s been a Pretty Good Year

I have been trying to exit my bubble this year. I have always told other people to put themselves out there. Otherwise, luck, fortune or opportunity will not find them. It’s good advice but I wasn’t good at following it myself. I had “really” good excuses though. Too busy, too tired, too stressed out – sound familiar?

As 2017 comes to a close, I am happy about what I’ve done this year. Have there been any earth-shattering accomplishments? Have I made a ton of money? Have I made a big list of objectives and checked them off one after the other? Well, no. But still, this retirement thing takes getting used to. I never realized how hard it would be to break free of habits that I developed over 30 years at one company. Picking up new skills is more challenging than it used to be. Being free and having too much choice is shockingly paralyzing. But at least now I am doing things versus thinking about them. So for me, positive steps forward indeed.

What I Really Came Here to Talk About

And oh, I did start out by talking about purpose. My original intent for this blogpost was to talk about why I haven’t written anything in 8 months even though I had good intentions. Some of it is because I got busy doing other things. But it’s more that I haven’t figured out what the purpose of this blog is. I know I enjoy practicing my writing. I like that the blog is a vehicle to express things that I might otherwise bottle in. I enjoy the community of bloggers even though I’ve not participated much this year. But like my life, I’ve not really determined what purpose this blog serves.

So many of the blogs I read have clear purpose and intent written by people who are experts in their field. Or, they offer opinions on people/places/things. Or, they teach me to do things like cook or make DIY products. But I am no expert at getting older. I am not an academic or even a deep thinker. I am very practical at heart. I do have opinions. I dole out advice. But my day-to-day life is not so exciting that I find a lot of subject matter to write about.

I am hoping that if I stay outside my bubble, I will find luck, fortune and opportunity. And then the true purpose of my blog and maybe even my life will drift my way. I am going to try to document the small steps I am taking to see the bigger picture of where I am heading comes to me in a aha moment. So expect to see me more frequently than every 8 months. 🙂

Even a Non-Activist Can Celebrate International Women’s Day

The Juvenile Retiree — Tue, 07 Mar 2017 00:00:00 GMT

I always remember International Women’s Day because it falls on my son’s birthday, March 8th. But, I’ve never taken the time to understand the history and purpose of an event created just to celebrate our fair gender.

Until 2017, my year of outreach and focus.

Am I a Feminist?

Do I label myself a feminist? Not really. Am I of a generation that had certain expectations of boys and girls/men and women? Yep. Can I shake off those preconceived ideas? Some yes, some no.

At the end of the day, I am a firm believer that people should be judged on their merits and their character, not on their gender, race, or any other external element. We can be so superficial, so quick to judge others.

So while I do not label myself as a feminist, I believe women need to support and encourage each other. And we proceed as only women can. We can excel as ourselves, we don’t need to act like men.

Why Women Should Support Women

There are far too many women-haters out there. I, for one, cannot understand how and why some men think they are superior to women.

Look at the many who resort to cheap misogynist insults on social media. Some of these anonymous wackos make comments that are deeply disturbing.

Then, there are men like that Polish politician who recently claimed that women should make less money because they are “weaker, smaller and less intelligent”. If a woman is applying to be a lumberjack, I get that being physically weaker or smaller is a disadvantage. But less intelligent? Ridiculous! This is the type of man who would suppress educational opportunities for women to ensure that they stayed “less intelligent”.

And of course, the abusive and sometimes fatal situations perpetrated by men. Not going to list them here. You all have heard about them. Not just cultural ones in far away lands, but the ones in our own backyards. How about that current President who thinks it’s ok to grab women by the crotch?

So this year, even though I am not an activist, I want to celebrate International Women’s day.

History of International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day is over 100 years old. The day was first observed in 1909 in NYC to celebrate a garment worker’s strike where women protested for better pay and work hours. In 1911, it became an internationally recognized event in Austria, Denmark, Germany, and Switzerland where 1 million men and women demanded the right to vote, hold public office, work and to end discrimination. Over time, it has become a global event and in 1975, the United Nations declared March 8th as International Women’s Day

International Women’s Day in 2017

The U.N. 2017 theme is Women in the Changing World of Work: Planet 50-50 by 2030. The World Economic Forum predicts the gender gap won’t close entirely until 2186 – 169 years from now.

International Women’s Day marks a call to action to individuals as well as organizations. There are formal events planned all over the world. You can see if there is anything in your local community by going here: https://www.internationalwomensday.com/Events.

The International Women’s Day website tagline is #BeBoldForChange. They encourage every person to celebrate the achievements of women to drive positive change. And, they also suggest ways of taking bold actions that will accelerate gender parity not just on March 8th but every day. They include:

I’ll challenge bias and inequality
I’ll campaign against violence
I’ll forget women’s advancement
I’ll celebrate women’s achievement
I’ll champion women’s education

The US is taking this occasion to participate in A Day Without a Woman. Participants are being encouraged to take the day off paid and unpaid work and refrain from shopping, to draw attention to the contribution of women in the workplace as well as the inequalities that they face.

In Canada, the 2017 theme is #EqualityMatters. The Canadian government has enshrined equality in the Charter of Rights (which I didn’t know) and is thus, committed to upholding gender equality in Canadian society. I’m proud of this! But, in practice, this not the case. Women continue to be under-represented in politics and senior leadership roles. They still earn less but are responsible for more. And, they still often fall victim to gender-based violence.

How I will celebrate

Let me say again that I have never been an activist, nor am I even particularly political. If anything, I am sadly apathetic. But, I’m feeling a real need to make a difference in some way, but in a way that is genuine for me.

I will champion Women’s Education in my new volunteer role as Global Program Coordinator (more on this at a later date)
I will attend women’s networking events in my community
I will find at least 2 other ways to personally help women in need

It’s only a start. I will continue to celebrate women all year.

I’ve Lost My Shopping Mojo. Retail Therapy Won’t Help.

The Juvenile Retiree — Tue, 28 Feb 2017 00:00:00 GMT

The Oxford and Urban dictionaries define Retail Therapy as:

The practice of shopping in order to make oneself feel more cheerful.
The act of shopping as an outlet for frustration and a reliever of stress.

Not so long ago, shopping was one of my favourite leisure activities. I would go shopping for any reason but particularly enjoyed bargain hunting for clothes, shoes, personal and household items. While I could happily spend hours going from store-to-store, I especially enjoyed making the 90-minute trek to the mecca of discount shopping, the Lewiston, New York factory outlet mall just across the border. It was irresistible. It offered many possibilities of finding treasures at 50%, 60%, 70%+ off. Even now, I feel a bit of a thrill thinking about it.

I had an epiphany after I retired. I did an initial purge and quickly lined up eight garbage bags full of “stuff” including kiddie toys, books, household items, clothes, and shoes. What was particularly horrifying was the fact that many of these things were barely used. A few still had their price tags. I tried to tally the $$ that had been spent on all these things; it had to be at least a couple of thousand. I was appalled. I had worked so hard during my career, stressed myself silly, sacrificed time with my family. For what? To buy stuff that I would barely use? And this was only my first go at purging, there was lots more to go

Why We Shop

There is an obvious “need” to shop. I have to buy groceries and other household basics. I am talking about the “want” element of shopping. Retail therapy and buying items, especially on sale, always made me feel good. At least temporarily. I guess it satisfied some sort of “hunter/gatherer” instinct in me. The bigger the discount, the better I felt.

It’s no surprise that I’m not alone.

Do you know what “neuromarketing” is? It is the scientific research of the effectiveness of product marketing on the brain. Large marketing firms have spent over USD $117 billion to find out the best ways of influencing our shopping behaviours. They examine what advertising characteristics are most effective at maximizing the emotional and reward areas of the brain that trigger excitement and impulsive buying decisions.

For many people, retail therapy offers short-term gratification especially when they are stressed, bored or procrastinating. It releases dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. But the effects of dopamine are short-lived and are often replaced by guilt or shame.

In a Consumer Reports survey of 1021 women, 83% of the respondents identified themselves as bargain-hunters. Some of the responses to the survey questions are below.

23% buy things they don’t need just because they’re on sale
36% feel guilty when they pay full price.
47% tell their family and close friends and 35 percent tell anyone who will listen
59% wait for sales
80 % say they’d look for a sale even if money were no object.

I say “yes” to all of these bullets. And I loved bragging when I scored incredible deals. It made me feel special.

Breaking the Retail Therapy Trap

I stopped shopping as frequently once I retired. I didn’t need to buy work clothes anymore. And I was more relaxed. Plus, with less disposable income, I had to be more careful. But it was really the purging of thousand of dollars of barely used “stuff” that broke the camels back for me. That’s when I really lost my shopping mojo.

Some ways that I cope with impulse when I do shop:

Make a list. Making a list requires examination of what we already have whether it’s groceries, clothes or anything else.
Be intentional. Shopping is no longer a leisure activity in itself. When I go shopping, I intend to buy what is on my list. Not to say that I only buy what’s on the list because sometimes I do. But I tend to be less impulsive when I have objectives.
Walk Away. If I want to buy something I know I don’t need, I will often carry that item around. If I am still undecided by the end of my trip, I put the item back. After 3-4 days, I will go back and buy it if I still want it. But often as not, the desire to buy that item has gone away. This method cuts down on impulse buys.
Monthly Credit Card Threshold. I don’t have a budget per se but I do have a monthly spending target. Because I collect points, I put groceries, gas, clothes, car service, dentist, etc. on one credit card and pay it off in full every month. I always have a rough tally in my head of where I stand on a monthly basis. I target a certain $$ threshold for regular and incidental purchases. And, when I come under that number, I get that familiar happy rush.
I also like the fact that I can download the credit card data and examine where I have spent money.
Purge Away. There is nothing like seeing what you are not using anymore to stop you from buying anything new. Your pantry, your closet, your basement. Sell what you can. Give the rest away to good causes.
Create Buying Goals. Maybe it’s a new purse. Or, a fitness membership. Or, a family vacation. I tally what I don’t spend impulsively and add it to the budget for a bigger ticket item.

So while I do indulge in retail therapy from time-to-time, the intense desire to shop is no longer there. I have so much already, I don’t need more.

Menopot Buddha Belly and Stretchy Pants

The Juvenile Retiree — Tue, 21 Feb 2017 00:00:00 GMT

As a young woman, I swore I would never succumb to wearing stretchy pants. You know, the kind older ladies wear that are made of 100% polyester stretch with an elastic waistband that makes them easy to pull up or down. They are wide-legged and come in many different colours ranging from basic black to pastel purple.

Fast-forward a few decades. I find myself almost exclusively wearing pull on, stretchy pants.
Why? Weight gain and belly fat.

I am 5’3″ and small-framed. Up to recent times, I have been fortunate enough to have a fast metabolism. And, only a weak emotional connection with food.

After menopause, I gained 5-6 permanent pounds. But last year, I “kicked” a habit that I had indulged in for decades (you know which one…) and gained 12 pounds which now sit in my belly and rear end. My clothes fit badly. I have a muffin-top aka Buddha belly aka menopot. I often feel bloated and cannot bear to have anything tight around my waist.

It took my body 8-9 months to get used to the new norm of reduced hormones and stimulants. I believe that I am taking in the same amount of daily calories and if anything, I am eating healthier since I mainly cook from scratch. And while I am not working out of the home anymore, I play Tai Chi or walk over 10K steps at least 5 of the 7 days in a week.

Why does the menopot happen?

Women store fat in their lower body mainly due to the presence of estrogen receptors in the hips, thighs, and buttocks. After menopause, when estrogen level decline, the fat storage moves up into the subcutaneous area of waist resulting in the dreaded menopot. To make matters worse, a weight gain of more than 2-5 pounds means that these fat deposits are laid deeper under the abdominal muscles as visceral fat. This is the type of fat that can lead to serious diseases like diabetes.

Yikes! How to get rid of it?

Diet

So if I am not eating more than before, then I must be burning fewer daily calories. Based on Livestrong.com, women in their 50s should be eating at least 200 fewer calories per day. I don’t know what my daily caloric intake is and may never know. But, I do know that the sneaking of salty snacks and the occasional Belgian chocolate has got to stop. Weight loss will be key in getting rid of this menopot. Good news is, I do drink a ton of fluids in the form of water and herbal tea.
Action: What modifications can be made to my diet to include more polyunsaturated fats, calcium-rich food, and veggies while reducing meat and grains? Figure out how to count calories. And look into organic apple cider which I hear might kickstart my metabolism.

Cardio

Tai Chi done correctly incorporates a lot of squats, leg raises and muscle resistance. You work up a sweat. I’ve checked my Fitbit, my heart rate goes up to a fat-burning 85 beats-per-minute; even higher after a brisk walk of 60 minutes. But maybe I need more strenuous cardio, even interval training. Livestrong says at least 250 minutes of intensive cardio every week is enough to lose weight. That’s roughly 35 minutes per day or 70 minutes every other day.
Action: I get a great discount at Goodlife Fitness. Maybe it’s time make the gym part of my weekly routine again. But this requires commitment.

Weight Training

As I mention above, Tai Chi is great for muscle resistance. So are the planks and crunches I do. I guess I just need to do more of them. I know that weight training will build muscle which in turn, burns more calories. It will also help maintain bone density and might reduce the severity of the osteoporosis I am likely to suffer later on (my mother has severe osteoporosis and I already have arthritis in my knuckles). Plus, I wouldn’t mind arms like Michelle Obama either!
Action: More reason to join the gym. But if I don’t, what can I do at home?

If All Else Fails

Wear stretchy pants that rock. Lululemon is my choice. While their demographic skews toward millennials, they also offer pieces in their “To & From” category that work for all ages. My favourites are similar to the Jet Pants (I own black Jet Crop Slims but they aren’t available right now) and the Street to Studio Pants (I own 4 pairs in different colours). Stretchy waists, perfect lengths, great quality and detailing that mimics dress pants. Their clothing is pricey but worth every penny to me.

I have been obsessing over my menopot for a while. It’s one of those things that I cannot accept without a fight. I need to find the self-discipline (sigh…) to be successful. I’m sure I will. But in the meantime, I finally have come to understand the appeal of stretchy pants. And, I am grateful that I can find stylish ones that rock.

You Get Asked This Question, Your Response Is…

The Juvenile Retiree — Tue, 14 Feb 2017 00:00:00 GMT

You’re at a cocktail party full of people you don’t know. This is not the most comfortable position for you to be in, but you are determined to make an effort. This is a “make it work moment”.

You look around to see if there is anyone as miserable, I mean as squirmy as you are. Across the room, you spot a couple of people chatting who are clearly not together. Slowly, you inch your way over and nonchalantly, join their group. Eye contact is made, success! You introduce yourselves and give each other your first names.

The next question is:

What do you do?

Of course it is. This is always the second question after “what is your name”.

The person in this story is me and probably a lot of other folks. When I took my early retirement, I gave the following long-winded answer:

I took an early retirement because we lost a huge public sector contract that I was managing. Of course, this would result in layoffs. I put my hand up because I knew I was done with the rat race. Plus, I was old enough to take an early retirement. I was lucky, they let me go.

But I think I was really saying…

I left willingly. I was NOT laid off.

Why do we ask?

Why do people ask what you do for a living anyway? This happens all the time at any event or gathering where there are people who don’t know each other. What are they really asking:

What is your socio-economic status?
Are you worth talking to?
What is your identity tribe?
Who are you?

Or, maybe they are just indulging in a lazy and harmless habit that helps us find common ground. In today’s society, especially in North America, so much of our time is spent at work that “what we do” goes beyond being just employment. It starts to define who we are.

For many years, I’m sure that my role as a Sales Account Manager for a major corporation did impact my identity. But I always knew that it was just a role I played, it wasn’t who I was. In fact, at the end, playing that the role had become exhausting and I didn’t like who I was. So I was happy to go; I’ve not looked back since.

The Reaction

When I tell others that I have taken an early retirement, most people react positively and wish me well. But I’ve also had some rather rude and negative reactions, as in “It must be nice!” in a “how dare you” voice. I look younger than 56, so sometimes I see a narrowing of the eyes that means they disapprove of my choice. Or sometimes it’s a look of sympathy that means they assume I’ve been laid off.

I don’t know why this bothers me, but it does. And, it has happened enough times that I am now reluctant to tell strangers.

A Better Response

I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I’ve done some searching on the Internet for input.

Clearly, a lot of other people don’t like this question either. Doesn’t matter how old they are or what they do. Well, my favourite piece of advice so far comes from www.lifehacker.com. The writer suggests that you answer this question by telling people how you solve problems.

This example by a mens’ fashion stylist would break the ice with humour while providing fodder for small talk.

When people ask what I do, I usually flip the question and say, “You know how most guys don’t dress very well?” This usually gets the person nodding along. Then I talk about how I solve that problem. I might mention that I have a 9-year-old, and let’s say I go to take him to the doctor. Now imagine a guy comes in who is wearing a Grateful Dead t-shirt, shorts and flip-flops. Am I going to give my kid to this person? Probably not. Now imagine a guy wearing a white lab coat walks in. Everyone can relate to how clothing can make a huge difference.”

If I were to use this method, I just might say:

I write about my personal experience of aging gracefully and try to provide practical tips and tools to help women in my demographic feel inspired and optimistic. And, I enjoy sharing these stories on social media with a like-minded community. A long time ago women over 50 were considered “old”. Not any more, 50 has become the new 40. Would you not agree?”

This response needs some more work but I think it’s more interesting than just saying that I have become a blogger and am doing some work in social media.

What do you say? Any other alternative ideas?

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Why Do Bloggers Blog? This is Why I Do.

The Juvenile Retiree — Wed, 01 Feb 2017 00:00:00 GMT

Even though I started to blog 10 months ago, I didn’t actually tell anyone until the end of October. I started “The Juvenile Retiree” to practice my writing and to acquire a new skill set. I was very quiet about it because I didn’t want people to see my awkwardness while I was “practicing”. And honestly, I felt a little embarrassed about putting myself out there on the Internet. Not having any real skills (I consider myself a master generalist), I chose to blog about being a midlife, “senior-in-training” retired woman.

At the same time, I decided to pursue a certificate in Social Media. While looking for part-time work, I had noticed a lot of short term, contract jobs that offered the flexibility I was looking for. At the time, all I knew about social media was how to read and post pictures on Facebook.

So last spring, I started the blog and the Social Media certificate simultaneously. Were there other reasons why?

First of all, I’m way too young to actually retire. I need to find other purposeful things to do. Generating income would also be useful!
Secondly, #1 on my bucket list is to travel the world. I will have to finance this somehow. It made sense to pursue jobs that could be done virtually. A travel blog was also a viable option but I had to learn the ins and outs of blogging first.

The Real 3 Top Reasons Why Bloggers Blog

To Share your Knowledge and/or Passion. Maybe it’s fashion, cooking or photography. Or a personal or political cause. Or a synopsis of the latest episode of The Bachelor or Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Maybe you are building awareness, or just sharing your expertise or opinion. Or all of the above.
To Build a Personal Network and Community. Blogging allows you to share your content and connect with like-minded individuals who are interested in learning more about you and your topics. Your potential online network is massive.
To Make Money. While this is obviously true of a business marketing products and/or services, it can also apply to an individual blogger. Blogging can drive more traffic to your site. It also allows you to hone your brand and establish your authority as a subject matter expert.

The stats on blogging

I can only describe them as mind-boggling

Over 332 million Tumblr blogs (https://www.statista.com/statistics/256235/total-cumulative-number-of-tumblr-blogs/)
Over 409 million people view more than 22.4 billion pages each month on WordPress sites (https://wordpress.com/activity/)
Users produce about 73.9 million new posts each month (same reference as above)
Over 3 million blog posts are written each day (http://www.worldometers.info/blogs/)
Bloggers are split pretty evenly between men & women. And about 50% are in the 21-35 age range (https://sysomos.com/reports/blogger-demographics)
The most popular blogs are about: Personal Life, Food, Travel, Professional Advice, Product Reviews, Finances, Productivity, Fashion, How-To Guides and Fitness (https://rabbut.com/the-top-10-blog-topics-of-all-time-exclusive-topics/)

So Why Do YOU Blog?

I find these stats over-whelming and even a little discouraging. Am I going to experience any success with so many blogs out there on the Internet? Not gonna lie, I struggle with my identity as a blogger, finding compelling topics and networking. But I am determined to keep at it.

However, I am curious about how other bloggers feel.

What made you start to blog?
Do you have objectives?
What do you do to stand out from the crowd (if anything)?

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Don’t Judge a Veggie by Its Skin…

The Juvenile Retiree — Fri, 20 Jan 2017 00:00:00 GMT

Grocery shopping is a chore for me, especially when it’s cold and dark outside. But on Monday night, we were expecting freezing rain and there was nothing in the fridge. So I grumbled a bit, bundled up and headed out to my local discount grocer, Fresh Co. This a no frills store with a limited selection of goods. It’s an industrial looking shop with harsh overhead lighting and no ambience.

Fresh Co. is located between 2 very different neighbourhoods. To the south, there are mainly single family homes worth a minimum of $800K. To the north, there are several clusters of low rent high rise apartments, many of which are subsidized by the government. Therefore, at any given time, you bump into new immigrants as well as well-dressed moms and dads rushing to grab dinner.

Anyway, I digress.

It was busy, others had heard about the freezing rain. So all the cashiers were busy with long lines. And people are buying full buggies worth of groceries. Odd for a Monday night, but maybe the threat of freezing rain makes you want to stock up. Anyway, the man in front of me was in his 30s, longish hair, scruffy beard and wearing earbuds. Someone quite average. Except that his grocery cart was filled with vegetables and fruit! Maybe I judge, but I was surprised to see a man buying eggplant, spinach, apples, carrots, mushrooms, leeks, peppers, along with one lonely pack of boneless chicken. The cashier, an older woman, was also clearly impressed and said:

Let me guess. Your wife is travelling and is about to return so you’re stocking the fridge before she comes back. She’s a vegetarian and you are not. So you’re having a final chicken dinner before she gets back.

He laughed and said that she was almost right except that she was not travelling and didn’t have a problem with him adding chicken to his meals. I could not help but eavesdrop and I told him that I had also been very impressed by his grocery selection; it was unexpected for a man. He said that he works at home so does a lot of cooking.

The man waiting behind me was an older, rather “grizzled” guy who looked like he smoked a couple of packs a day. He also piped up and told us that he was taking the night off cooking so was buying something already prepared. I proceeded to tell him that I was planning homemade mushroom soup and a lentil dish mixed with brown rice. He nodded approvingly.

Meanwhile, the cashier rang through my items and while I packed them in a bag, the young man started to describe his latest vegetarian pizza recipe using a grated cauliflower and steel oats crust. I made a face; he assured me that it was just like a regular pizza crust only better. The older gentleman praised his creativity and proceeded to say that cooking was like painting, you never quite know what you are going to end up with. And then he revealed that he was a chef. We all laughed and I bid them goodnight.

I live in a big city of 2.8 million people. As city folk, our heads are often down looking at technology when in a crowd. Or we stare out at nothing, oblivious of the people around us. If we do see them, sometimes we judge them. We may or may not wish to engage because they look or dress a certain way. Yet, this 5 minute exchange with 3 strangers was enjoyable and surprisingly memorable. I left the store smiling and thinking about what I would have missed if I hadn’t gone to the grocery store that night. Proved yet again, why you shouldn’t judge a veggie by its skin..

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Stop the Procrastination. Focus and Get S*** Done

The Juvenile Retiree — Tue, 10 Jan 2017 00:00:00 GMT

Procrastination. It is one of my most annoying characteristics. I find all sorts of ways of wasting time or delaying doing something that I don’t really want to do. Therefore, I have become lazy. But I am sure that I am not alone.

I have promised myself that I will become more focused in 2017. When I was in Sales, January was always a time to exhale, review the prior year and plan for future success. Fresh start. I need to do this in my personal life.

How?

Make Decisions. Sounds simple doesn’t it. My perfectionist soul inhibits my decision-making ability. Why? Because I always think that “something better might come along”. It can be anything: job, trip, an app for this blog, kitchen appliance, etc. I’m afraid that I will make a poor choice so I stall and do nothing. So nothing get accomplished. Procrastination at its finest. I am driving myself crazy. It has to stop.
Get Organized. But the only way to do this (for me) is to set goals and log them in a calendar. I am a scatterbrain. Not a dumb person, just a distracted one. I allow myself to wander too much. Yet since I am actually a goal-oriented person, I should become more focused and be able to increase my productivity if I create daily/weekly objectives. As a result, I would expect increased satisfaction.
LIMIT screen time. Playing Ipad games is my dirty little secret. In the past, this was a way to rest my over-active and exhausted brain. But now, it’s a procrastination technique. The one that I play most is Hayday. It’s a game that hooks you in by continually putting forth new objectives. But the main reason I still play, is that I belong to a community where I can chat with friends and compete in a team “derby” where we complete tasks and win virtual prizes. And I am compelled to feed my virtual animals with virtual feed and harvest my virtual plants. Plus I am proud of my how pretty my virtual farm is with its virtual decorations. Weird, I know.
Continue Personal Learning and Development. I have been taking a social media certificate at a local college which has armed me with basic knowledge and skills. Taking it to another level requires practice and the acquisition of complementary skills like photography. One might call these “hobbies” but I see these skills as a means to an end.

My Challenge Words

I am motivated by some of the posts and blogs I am reading. A key one was posted on BlogShareLearn https://elenaopeters.com/2016/12/29/word-for-2017-simplify-whats-yours/. Laura E. Paul talks about selecting a challenge along with a word that represents it. For me, I’m choosing the word FOCUS and I am borrowing Nike’s motto “JUST DO IT“.

Don’t overthink, don’t over-analyze, don’t worry, stop the procrastination. Just focus and get “s***” done.

Will I Stop the procrastination?

I have been scouting some tools that can help me move the ball forward. This is something that I will complete in the next couple of weeks. In March, I will revisit this post to see if I have made progress.

See, it’s in my calendar.

Love DIY and It’s Not ‘Cause I’m Frugal

The Juvenile Retiree — Tue, 03 Jan 2017 00:00:00 GMT

Now that the cold weather has settled in, I am taking baths again and have discovered something luxurious: pretty and fragrant bath bombs! The kind that are sold at Lush for $8 a pop. While this post is late (better late than never), I made DIY Bath Bombs as Christmas “thank you’s” for the staff at my mother’s nursing home. It was nice to do something over-and-above chocolates and cookies. And they ended up being a big hit!

DIY Simple Bath Bombs

These are simple to make and require everyday ingredients. Ok, the citric acid is a little tough to find but I ended up sourcing it at bulk stores and Amazon. If you don’t take baths, you can use these pucks as “freshies” to keep your toilet smelling fresh*.

Recipe for DIY Bath Bombs *

1 cup of baking soda
1/2 cup citric acid
1/2 cup Epsom salt
1 tbsp water
3 tbsp oil (I used grapeseed)
20-30 drops essential oils of your choice
Food colouring (if desired)
Hydrogen peroxide spray (as required)
Moulds

Instructions

Add the baking soda, citric acid and epsom salt together in a large bowl. Whisk the mixture very well to break up any lumps.

2. Add water, oil and food colouring to a glass measuring cup and mix well. I added different essential oils at this point. Lemon to yellow, vanilla to blue and rose to red. While I kept it simple, you can add mixtures of different scents. It’s really up to you.

3. Slowly add the liquid to the dry mixture. I poured very slowly with my left hand while I whisked briskly with my right.

4. The mixture should be damp enough to stick together when squeezed. If it is too dry, spray lightly with hydrogen peroxide.

5. I used different moulds but the best were the ones from Ikea because they were stiffer. I pressed the mixture firmly into each mould. There was some minor expansion that occurred.

6. I let them sit in my cold, dry oven for 48 hours. At this point, they were very dry and hard so popping them out of the moulds was easy.

7. To keep them moisture-free, I wrapped them first in cellophane and then inserted them into small Christmas “food cartons” that close at the top with handles. Since I was giving them away to strangers, I printed a label with instructions and a list of the ingredients.

In Summary

I am a novice when it comes to DIY products but it doesn’t matter. They are many recipes on the web and most items are very easy to make. Once you get your “pantry” of basic items together, these things cost pennies to make. For example, I made 60 small bath bombs which cost about $7.15 total. Not only did the recipients enjoy my DIY bath bombs, I also really enjoyed the process of making them. And as equally important, I know that they are natural and good for the environment. What a win-win!

* If you only want to use these as “freshies”, eliminate the oil and Epsom salt. Instead use 1 1/3 cup of baking soda and 1/2 cup of citric acid with 1 tsp of water. Recipes inspired by Jillee at (http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/fizzy-cleaning-toilet-bombs)

Are We Still Cranky in Midlife?

The Juvenile Retiree — Tue, 13 Dec 2016 00:00:00 GMT

I always thought that when I got older, I would mellow out. Especially when the day-to-day pressure of being an everyday superwoman subsided once I got off the hamster wheel. While I do think that I am more patient overall, I am sometimes shocked at how certain situations make me really, really cranky.

Slowpoke drivers who insist on staying in the left lane. This happens ALL the time in my city of over 4 million people. It makes me unreasonably cranky; my blood pressure skyrockets. Why? Our roads are congested, full of cars and trucks. Slowpokes in the left lane slow down traffic for many kilometres behind them. The left lane is for passing! If you cannot drive as fast if not faster than the speed limit, stay out! If you feel fear every time you get on the highway, take alternate routes. The combination of aggressive speed and slow/fearful drivers on the highway is a lethal mix.

2. The word “like”. It is a very useful, multi-functional word that can be a verb, preposition, conjunction, noun, adjective and adverb. But I have noticed that an extraordinary number of young people use it as filler. For example, “She was like where did you go? And I was like, I had to go to a doctor’s appointment like at 4 o’clock”. I swear some people use it in almost every sentence, sometimes multiple times. I grew up across the street from a professor who gently advised me to stop using filler words (I think it was “you know”). At the time, I was embarrassed but his lesson has served me well as an adult.

3. Bad grocery cart etiquette. I have a regular shopping list of things I buy at Costco. It is not a place to dawdle, it is always insanely busy. Even though I shop on weekdays, I am amazed at the number of people who leave their cart in the middle of the aisle and walk away. Sometimes they leave their kids in the cart too, or worse, let their kids run around unsupervised. The pile-up around the sample stations makes me want to ram other carts or say rude things. But I don’t. I grit my teeth, pick up my things and get the hell out of there as quickly as possible.

4. Web ads that know what I’ve been looking at. Even though I have learned that web developers load “pixels” and “cookies” to follow your online activity, I really find it creepy. Companies track your online behaviour and know a lot about you. For example, if you look at a pair of shoes online, you may see ads for those same shoes on many sites you visit afterwards. Facebook and Google know the most and have the ability to share that data with other companies. It’s a little frightening. Do yourself a favour and watch the movie “Snowden”. It’ll make you think about how little online privacy you actually have.

5. Over-blown holidays. Don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t love Christmas time with the family? I’m talking about the unnaturally BIG events that most companies and retailers blow out of proportion. For example, Valentine’s day. While it’s lovely to celebrate your love for another, it has become a pressure-filled event with rampant commercialization that starts right after New Years. The advertising makes you feel like you’re a loser unless you buy the the biggest present, a dozen roses, fine chocolates, expensive jewelry, and a fabulous dinner out. Spend spend spend! This scenario repeats itself for other events like Mothers’ and Fathers’ days, Easter and Hallowe’en amongst others. Bah humbug!

So the answer for me, is that I can still get pretty cranky and impatient but I think I hold it in better than I used to. And some things have actually stopped bothering me (like streetcar travel). I wonder what it’s like for others?

Tracing the Ancestors, Exploring the Past

The Juvenile Retiree — Thu, 01 Dec 2016 00:00:00 GMT

I know very little about my family’s past. I do know that my parents came to Canada in 1947 as part of the Chinese diplomatic service. They never expected to stay permanently but history intervened and they were forced to become refugees. Like so many other immigrants, they worked long and hard to provide a good life for their 4 children. Unfortunately, they did not force us to speak Mandarin, they were busy and the community was small. Regretfully, none of us grew up speaking the mother tongue. Although there was prejudice, we were somewhat sheltered by a community full of immigrants including Greeks, Italians, Latvians, Germans and even open minded multi-generational Canadians. We grew up Canadian first, we were assimilated. This was especially true when I, the last child, rolled out of the womb. I was never interested in my heritage, something that I regret today.

Souvenir with Name

Last year, my sister and I took a trip to China, my first time. Over the course of 2 weeks, we saw many sites in Beijing, Xi’an, Chengdu and Shanghai. At one tourist shop, we picked up a souvenir pamphlet that talked to the history of our name “任“. Of course, neither of us could read it but we would get it translated. Fast forward several months. I asked an elderly Chinese man to translate it for me. He politely declined but found the same document online. That’s where it started, I spent a month obsessed by the pursuit of my family history.

My siblings had some snippets of documents that my father had written. On one, I found crucial information: my father and grandfather’s names written in Chinese characters along with their ancestral hometown, Yixing in the province of Jiangsu. My elderly friend provided the digital characters that allowed me to do Google searches. Not reading Chinese is an enormous handicap when you are researching your genealogy. I had to use several online translators to gain even a nugget of understanding. Translators are literal, they cannot grasp the context of characters that have different meanings when placed in different sequences.

Yellow Emperor, Huang Di

Yixing, 200 KM west of Shanghai

What I have found is fascinating. It also makes me proud of where I come from. My family is old, very old. The name”任” harkens back to 2500 B.C. Yes, that’s 2500 years before Christ. The Yellow Emperor bestowed a Dukedom of “任” upon the youngest of his 25 sons. His descendants took this surname. The branch I come from can trace roots back to the 5th century. This current cycle split off in the 13th century when my ancestors fled south from the invading Mongols lead by Kublai Khan. They settled in Yixing where my father (任以宏)was born in 1912, almost 7 centuries later.

My father’s father

My father was very proud of his own father (任锡周). Born in 1873, our grandfather was awarded the title of “Juren”, a designation bestowed upon the few who successfully passed the grueling imperial exams. This was the entry to higher level positions within the public service. We know that he was a secretary in the Governor of the Province of Jiangsu’s office and for 5 years, he had a similar role in the office of the President of the Republic himself. We also know that he was honourable and patriotic. He was deeply disturbed by the corruption manifested by powerful warloads that was rampant in the government. During the Sino-Japanese war, he refused to be bribed and as a result, he eventually lost his wealth, his health and his life shortly after this period.

Renfamily.cn google-translated to English

During my search, I stumbled upon a Chinese language website that was set up in 2014 to celebrate the”任” family heritage but also to find overseas members. I sent an e-mail in English and 5 days later, I was rewarded with an e-mail from Mary in Sydney, Australia. She gave me so much information including the digital version of the last update of the family book, a customized spreadsheet showing our lineage back to the 13th century and even poems by family members. Unfortunately, many of these documents sit in my Dropbox, still unread.

My last name “任” means “a person doing his duty”. It is listed as the #58th most popular Chinese name with 4.2 million people sharing it. In English, it was translated to “Jen” (although more recently, the new Pinyin translation is “Ren”). My siblings and I have always thought that we alone had this last name, we had never ever met any other Jen’s. But this past summer, much to my surprise, I saw someone in a Facebook group with the same last name. I sent her a private message with some information and lo and behold, she confirmed that her family also came from the same town. And then we discovered that we live 1 kilometre apart!. I have also become aware of an American writer named Gish Jen who I now follow on Facebook. I bought her book, Tiger Writing, which was inspired by her father’s memoirs. I’ve done a search and found other people in the US and Canada named “Jen” and “Ren”. I have not reached out, I am not sure what I would say so maybe it is a project for the future.

Mother & Father (1946?)

The Internet has made the search for my family roots much easier. My only regret is that I did not take the time to gather information from the master of story telling himself, my father. He was a also scholar and a very prolific communicator until he went blind in his 80s. Much of our immediate ancestral history died with him in 1999. But I have to think that he is looking down upon us, happy that we are finally looking back to the past to help define who we are today.

I Have an Election Hangover

The Juvenile Retiree — Wed, 09 Nov 2016 00:00:00 GMT

Like millions of other people, I have a massive U.S. election hangover hampered by a heavy heart.

While I am Canadian and not able to participate, the 24 hour barrage of images and messages have been unavoidable, especially on social media. I tried to ensure that I read stories that were fact-based that came from unbiased sources. But there was so much garbage. Stuff that was so ridiculous that even a hardcore National Enquirer reader would shake his/her head in disbelief. I won’t even provide examples, they were so ludicrous.

I’m not even sure why I care but I do. I care that an authoritarian narcissist with little self-control or understanding of the issues showed so many character flaws that were forgiven or glossed over as “locker room talk”. I care that he is a vulgar man who flamed the fire of hatred and intolerance with his non-truths and exaggerations. And I care that his fans ate it all up and voted him in over a woman with exceptional credentials. What does that say about America? Even though Hilary also had skeletons in her closet, she didn’t deserve the vitriol and disgusting things that his fans said about her on social media. I was and am repulsed by this. Many of his fans are no different than the terrorists they proclaim to hate except that they are on the other side of the coin. And when some call themselves Christian, I have to laugh. My children went to Catholic school where they were taught to be tolerant and respectful of all beliefs and religions. I would think that’s how true Christians behave, not these hooligans who troll.

There, I got it out. There are many others things that made me angry but I’ll stop here. I hope that these words are nothing but an over-emotional rant. I hope that he was playing some crazy villainous role and when in office, takes on a moderate, more reasonable tone. I like to think that I am an optimist and when times are dark, good will still prevail. Yet part of me is very scared for the future of America and the world that my children and their children will live in. I hope I’m wrong.

Sensitive and Middle-Aged Skin

The Juvenile Retiree — Sat, 27 Aug 2016 00:00:00 GMT

I got into natural products by mistake. Around 2 years ago, my teenage daughter began to read the labels on the personal products I was buying and pointed out scary ingredients that were both bad for your health as well as the environment. I referenced these chemicals in an earlier blog article (The Dirty Dozen, 12 Chemicals to Avoid). Add that to my peri-menopausal, newly sensitive middle-aged skin and I started to look for alternatives.

Katie – The Wellness Mama

I never realized how much info is out there is on DIY in the cyber-world. Nor how easy it is to make. I have tried many different DIY recipes and there are a handful that have stuck with me. One of my inspirations is the queen of DIY natural products, Katie aka the Wellness Mama. She has been creating her own products for many years and is very good at it. Not only that but she has 6 (!!!) children under 10 years old, manages a thriving business and is a doula in her spare (?) time. She’s done so much and hasn’t even reached midlife yet!

DIY Body Wash for sensitive & Middle-aged skin

Of all my DIY natural products, this creamsicle body wash is my favourite. Not only is it cheap and easy to make, it is creamy, fragrant and feels great on my skin. With the addition of the vitamin E, glycerin, and various oils, it absorbs quickly and moisturizes my sensitive, middle-aged skin well enough that I only require a light lotion afterward. So much has been written about the benefits of organic coconut oil. Raw honey is also a terrific added ingredient. Not only is it moisturizing, it has anti-microbial properties, a most appropriate characteristic of a body wash!

Creamsicle Body Wash for Middle-Aged Skin

Note that vanilla and essential oil quantities are approximate. I have added other essential oils or changed quantities as listed. Trust your nose!. This body wash is very moisturizing for middle-aged skin

Ingredients

¼ cup organic coconut oil
¼ cup raw honey
½ cup liquid Castile soap
1 teaspoon vitamin E
1 teaspoon vegetable glycerin
1 teaspoon oil (your choice - almond, pumpkin)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
20 drops sweet orange essential oil
10 drops neroli oil blend

Instructions

Measure 1/4 cup coconut oil into 2 cup measuring cup
Add 1/4 cup raw honey to the same 2 cup measuring cup
Place in a double boiler over low-medium heat until melted (approximately 15 minutes)
Remove from heat. Add glycerin, almond oil, vanilla extract and essential oils and stir well
Add Castile soap slowly, stirring gently to avoid creating suds.
Transfer to glass bottle using a funnel if required
Shake before each use

Recipe Management Powered by Zip Recipes Plugin

4.7.2.17

http://thejuvenileretiree.com/2016/08/27/middle-aged-sensitive-skin/

This recipe was inspired by http://helloglow.co/diy-body-wash/

Summary

Pretty Creamsicle Body Wash

I have used essential oils and scents that remind me of creamsicles and complement the honey in the body wash. However, you can add the essential oils that please you the most.

I estimate that this body wash costs about $1.50-$1.75 to make. The most expensive element is the organic, locally sourced honey I buy. My family of four uses this product and it lasts about 1 month. So not only is it economical to make, it is better for your health and the environment. If you buy pretty glass soap pump bottles, these make lovely gifts as well

I am a Middle-Aged Pokémon Hunter

The Juvenile Retiree — Mon, 08 Aug 2016 00:00:00 GMT

You have to have lived under a rock to not have heard about Pokémon Go. This is a modern reinvention of an equally successful Nintendo Gameboy game launched in North America in 1998. Impressive numbers abound: 100 M downloads, over $200M in revenue, daily news stories from around the world and even a ban in Iran – all in a month’s time since its release. Even I have given in to the Pokémon craze. It has gotten this middle-aged body to start moving again.

It all started when my now 22-year old son was small, I used to advance games on his Gameboy while he slept. Around 1999 or 2000, I remember scouring upper NY state for the red and white plastic Pokéballs that Burger King was giving out. I think I ended up collecting 8 of them much to my son’s delight. We used them to wage mock Poké battles at his Pokémon themed birthday party. Lots of excited little boys yelling “Charizard, I choooose YOOOOOUUU! It was such fun

Many years later, Pokémon Go arrived in Canada last month on Itunes. My son was so excited. He convinced the entire family to download the game. That very day, we walked around the neighbourhood catching Pokémons. We hadn’t walked together in a long time so it turned into a fun family outing. Admittedly, as a middle-aged woman, I was a little embarrassed bumping into other adults. But I could tell that they felt the same. Heads down, we’d raise our eyes momentarily to give each other a knowing but sheepish look acknowledging our juvenile desire to participate in this cultural craze.

1. Pokémon FACTS

It’s very simple. The game is based on the original, first Pokémon game that was launched for the Nintendo Gameboy in 1998. While similar to the original, this game is played on your mobile device using the GPS. The main goal is to acquire 150 Pokémons and the only way to do so is to move from place to place. There is also the ability to battle at gyms to earn Pokécoins and prestige, but this isn’t necessary to enjoy the game.

2. Key Terms

No middle-aged Pokémon trainer avatars available

Pokémon stands for “Pocket Monsters”. They are creatures raised and commanded by their Trainers (you). They are normally hatched from eggs, captured in the wild or evolved from simpler forms. They grow and become more experienced and can evolve into more powerful Pokémon. Currently, there are 150 unique Pokémons.

Pokéstops. These are typically located at cultural or important landmarks like statues, plaques, buildings etc. Pokéstops are a place to stock up on the Pokéballs that are needed to catch Pokémon. They also are a source of healing and revive potions, Pokémon eggs and raspberries (that increase your chance at catching a Pokémon) .

Gyms are locations where “battles” take place

3. How do I get them

Capture wild Pokémon using Pokéballs. Pokémon spawn and are therefore more frequently found in higher density areas.
Hatch them from Eggs. So far I’ve seen 2, 5 and 10 kilometre versions. Place the egg in an incubator and walk the required distance. Feel like a proud mama when your baby Pokemon hatches.
Evolve them. Some Pokémon have 2-3 forms. Both Stardust and Candy are required for evolution. You get Stardust by capturing wild Pokemon or hatching eggs. Candy is acquired by transferring duplicate Pokémons to the in-game host Professor Willow.

4. Where do I get them

I have since figured out the most efficient way to play this game is by taking the slowest method of transportation in this city, the streetcar. I then walk around downtown where there is a higher density of Pokéstops and therefore, Pokémons. I used to take the subway, even only for one stop. Not any more.

The Pokédex keeps track of the Pokémon you’ve seen and
caught. But I carry up to 250 Pokémon in my “bag” and I can review duplicates and transfer and evolve them from this screen. There is a certain sense of satisfaction seeing these two screens populate. My kids and I (and now my husband) compare screens on a regular basis.

5. Do I Need to Spend Money

Nope, but you can There is an in-app shop where you can buy more Pokéballs, Incense and Lures that attract more Pokémon, Lucky Eggs that increase XP amongst other things like storage upgrades. While I am not against spending a small amount of money playing games, it’s unlikely that I will do so here.

In Summary

I think this is a fun game for now. Some of the benefits are that we play as a family, engage in some friendly competition, all while getting some much-needed exercise. Will I continue being a middle-aged Pokémon hunter when my kids leave for university and the temperature drops? Probably not unless the gameplay evolves. But for now, it’s a great summer past-time and I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

If you are interested in becoming a middle-aged Pokémon hunter, here are a few simple but thorough sites to walk-through.

http://www.pcadvisor.co.uk/new-product/game/complete-guide-pokemon-go-how-play-pokemon-go-pokemon-go-news-bug-3625388/
https://youtu.be/HsryPh9-q_E.

Hoo-hah! Good Pokémon hunting!

The Dirty Dozen – 12 Chemicals to Avoid in Personal Products

The Juvenile Retiree — Sun, 24 Jul 2016 00:00:00 GMT

It’s very scary what manufacturers put in the everyday products we use. The ingredients are chemicals that enhance the colour or consistency, add or mask fragrance, or act as a preservative. Things that make the product more attractive to the consumer. The “Dirty Dozen” are 12 toxic chemicals that are commonly found in shampoo, conditioner, moisturizers, cleansers, and other skin and hair care products. In fact, U.S. researchers report that 1 in 8 of the 82,000 ingredients in personal care products is an industrial chemical! These can include carcinogens, pesticides, reproductive toxins, hormone disruptors. and plasticizers. These are products we slather into our skin.

David Suzuki is a well-known Canadian academic, science broadcaster and environmentalist. His foundation conducted a survey to see how many of the Dirty Dozen ingredients were included in their bathroom products. Their results were based on 6200 respondents reporting on more than 12,500 personal products. The results were disturbing:

Almost 80 per cent of products reportedly contained at least one of the Dirty Dozen ingredients.
More than half of all products reportedly contained multiple Dirty Dozen ingredients
Participants were unable to locate ingredient lists on more than 1,000 products

I decided to look at some of the products in my own house after reading Dr. Suzuki’s report.

CeraVe is a fairly pricey drugstore moisturizer that I purchased because of its great reviews and the fact that it was “developed with dermatologists” I was looking for a stronger product for my extra dry, itchy and sensitive skin this past winter. While this cream is not organic, I wanted to try it since I had read that one of its ingredients, “ceramides” would help rebuild the collagen that I was losing post menopause and this appealed to my vanity. The ingredients (copied from their website) are

Behentrimonium Methosulfate and Ceteayl Alcohol, Caprylic/Capric Triglyceride, Carbomer, Ceramide 1, Ceramide 3, Ceramide 6-Ii, Ceteareth-20 and Cetearyl Alcohol, Cetyl Alcohol, Cholesterol, Dimethicone, Dipotassium Phosphate, Disodium Edta, Glycerin, Hyaluronic Acid, Methylparaben, Petrolatum, Phenoxyethanol, Phytosphingosine, Potassium Phosphate, Propylparaben, Purified Water, Sodium Lauroyl Lactylate, Xanthan Gum

So CeraVe contains 2 types of parabens and petrolatum, ingredients that are on the Dirty Dozen list. I expect better considering that this cream was developed with dermatologists.

Next personal product is Dove Oxygen Shampoo for Men which my husband and son use. Dove has fabulous marketing for its products targeted to women. The current theme is “Let’s break the rules of beauty” and I’m sure you’ve seen their other “all women are beautiful” campaigns. I have been impressed by their messaging for many years, even when they were only known as the soap maker that added 1/4 cup of cold cream to their soap. They have a great reputation, that’s why I buy their men’s line of personal products for the me in my family. The ingredients for this bottle of Dove Oxygen Charge shampoo (from their website ) include:

“Aqua, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, Sodium Chloride, Cocamidopropyl Betaine, Parfum, Glycerin, Dimethiconol, TEA-Dodecylbenzenesulfonate, Citric Acid, Guar Hydroxypropyltrimonium Chloride, Tetrasodium EDTA, DMDM Hydantoin, PEG-45M, Propylene Glycol, Caffeine, PPG-9, Methylchloroisothiazolinone, Methylisothiazolinone, CI 42090, CI 17200.”

Wow, that is 4 different ingredients that are on the Dirty Dozen list. And as much as love Dove’s image, I’m not feeling comfortable about this.

I was already going down the path of using natural, organic products or making my own. But I see that I need to be more vigilant. There is a handy Shoppers’ guide on Dr. Suziki’s website that you can print and reference when shopping. His website suggests that you read labels and avoid buying products with these ingredients. He even goes so far as to advise you to send back open products to the manufacturer. Other suggestions include buying natural products or those with short ingredient lists. There are some other resources like the US Environmental Working Group and Queen of Green that focus on safer products.

This report makes me wonder if the sensitivity I have developed this decade is due to years and years of using products that contain chemical toxins? It’s kind of scary.

Taoist T’ai Chi Surprised Me

The Juvenile Retiree — Sun, 03 Jul 2016 00:00:00 GMT

I tried T’ai chi when I was 25 years old. Since I was (and still am) very impatient, I found it far too slow so I quit after a few classes. Jump ahead 30 years and it’s now the right speed. I started last year knowing that I needed to find a way to relieve the overwhelming amount of stress I was experiencing at that time. I ended up selecting T’ai Chi for several reasons:

I had heard T’ai Chi being referred to as Moving Meditation. I thought this might work better for me than Yoga which I have tried multiple times.
I am of Chinese descent and I thought that this was a way to connect with my heritage
I already have arthritis in my fingers. Look at these knuckles, especially the middle finger. My elderly mother has arthritis and osteoporosis amongst other things, and due to her lack of exercise, she is bound to a wheelchair. If I live to be as old as she is, I want to prevent that from happening to me.

Google Maps captured my silver Impreza parked outside

I decided on the Taoist Tai Chi club simply because there is a studio close to home. I took a crash course to learn all 108 moves over an 11-hour beginners’ weekend. Although I have participated in hundreds of aerobics classes, I was surprised to find that not only was I struggling to memorize the sequence of moves, I had also developed 2 left feet. Nonetheless, I remained enthusiastic and dutifully attended class 3 times per week.

Taoist T’ai Chi surprised me in many other ways.

There is no syllabus in Taoist T’ai Chi. No precise and predetermined execution of movement and placement like there is in ballet. Master Moy’s philosophy was to customize the move to the individual since each person will have different issues
Taoist T’ai Chi is about continuous improvement and learning. Even for those who have studied for decades. It does not remain static. It lives.
I still find it a bit on the slow side but that no longer annoys me. In fact, I strangely enjoy the minutiae that can sometimes be Taoist T’ai Chi
I have strengthened my core.
I sweat.
The membership is primarily Caucasian
There is no judgement

I am not sure if all my expectations were met with Taoist T’ai Chi but I can say that I have made progress. My mind stays relatively uncluttered while in class and when practicing. If I am thinking about anything at all, it’s about executing the corrections I’ve been given. I don’t worry, my mind wanders much less than when I have tried to meditate in the past. I feel calm. Taoist T’ai Chi has been an anchor during my year of transition to retirement. It has provided me with focus, regular exercise, volunteer opportunities and of course, social interaction. While the membership itself is not very Asian, the society’s principles are. Sometimes I stare at the posters littered around the studio. The one that resonates most with me lists the 8 virtues. Filial Piety, Sibling Harmony, Dedication, Trustworthiness, Propriety, Sacrifice, Honour, and Sense of Shame.

Each virtue is described in more detail on the http://www.taoist.org website but when I look at the poster in class, I try to think of how I exhibit (or don’t exhibit) the characteristics. While I am FAR FAR FAR away from being a model for the 8 virtues, the poster regularly reminds me of the characteristics and behaviours needed to become a better human being. I try to work on one thing at a time. I’ve spent 55 years developing some bad attitudes and habits, it’ll take a while.

This sounds like a cliche but Taoist T’ai Chi is for everyone and anyone. I am only in mid-life and still healthy but there are many members who have serious health issues who practice T’ai Chi. Some suffer from severe diseases (like Parkinsons) that affect mobility. Others have had terrible accidents that resulted in limited movement. There many other members who practice T’ai Chi for the mental relaxation and physical exercise. Every member has his/her personal story. Some are in the video below.

So all in all, I am grateful that I found Taoist T’ai Chi. I feel that it’s helped me both physically, mentally and emotionally. I thank my lucky stars that I am healthy. Practicing this art form is a way of staying that way. It is something that I will continue even if I embrace other forms of exercise and/or meditation. It has certainly earned a continued place in my life.

10 Reasons Why I’m a Cat Lady

The Juvenile Retiree — Fri, 17 Jun 2016 00:00:00 GMT

This is my beloved cat Whiskey. He is a rescued cat that we adopted 18 months ago when he was still a kitten. Whiskey had a rough start to his life. When he was 4 months, he was found almost dead by a major highway. A kind soul took him to the local vet where my daughter was working as a co-op student. He was unconscious, blind, with a hole in his head. It took a couple of months, but he was coaxed back from the brink of death. He is a fighter.

We changed his name to “Whiskey”

And Whiskey (formerly known as Sparky) became a bit of a TV celebrity. He was featured on “Animal House Calls”, a local cable show that highlights these sorts of miracle stories.

My daughter built a bond with Whiskey during his recovery as she was responsible for cleaning his cage and playing with him. We had managed to stay a pet-less family for a good 20 years but she was relentless in her pursuit of his adoption. I gave in first, my husband the “cat hater” took longer. She won the battle. We paid $100, changed his name to Whiskey and brought him home.

We instantly feel in love with this little guy. I took my early retirement 5 months after he joined our family so we spend a lot of time together every day. I have come to the conclusion that I’ve become a “cat lady”. Here are 10 reasons why.

I spent hours and hours researching cat food. I now know what the optimal combination of protein, fat, and carbs that make up a healthy and well-balanced cat diet. I even monitor his daily caloric intake so that he doesn’t gain weight.
I have many, many “pet” names for him. These include Bunny, Little Guy, Baby Boy, My Little Kitty as well as You Pain in the A**, Annoying Kitty, and Stupid Cat.
When I talk to him, I refer to myself as “mummy” as in “Mummy says it’s time to go inside now”
He is an indoor cat yearning to be an outdoor one. So we compromise. My husband devised a system where Whiskey can easily navigate the backyard (using a harness and long leash) to hunt squirrels, birds, bugs and enjoy the fresh air. I spend at least an hour every morning (rain, snow or shine) with him ensuring he doesn’t get tangled up.
He can tweet high scores
I take him on local walks. I’ve tried to introduce him to the neighbourhood cats but that’s been a flop. He is very territorial and seems to hate them.
He has his own (albeit a discarded 1st generation) Ipad for cat games and bird videos.
I only buy him cat toys on Amazon that have lots of reviews and 5-star ratings.
I have taken more photos and videos of Whiskey than I have of my entire family during the same period. Especially of him sleeping. We all seem to find those the cutest. Then I send them to our family IMessage account for my husband and kids to enjoy.
I give him kisses with my eyes (really)
I carry him in my arms and rock him like a baby. Or sometimes over my left shoulder like you would hold a baby to be burped. He hates it from me but he sure loves my daughter’s cuddles.

Over the Hill Fashion

The Juvenile Retiree — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 00:00:00 GMT

When I was working back in the 80s and 90s, the act of daily dressing was simple. At work, I wore matching suits, blouses, pantyhose, and pumps. Had the same kind of clothes in multiple colours and the heels were of different heights. Just like this,

this and this…

At night and on weekends, it was jeans and comfy tops with runners or boots. At the start of this century (!!!!), the dress code at work became increasingly relaxed and eventually I stopped wearing matching suits altogether. With the (thankful) launch of Banana Republic’s petite shop, their business casual line-up of dress pants, skirts, shirts and cardigans became my new uniform and even crossed over to my non-work life. Their clothes were classic, maybe a bit generic and bland, but ageless. And the mix and match function made getting dressed in the morning a breeze.

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When I stopped working last year, I went through a closet cleanse. I kept anything that was timeless. But I discarded a lot. Some things I sold, some things my daughter claimed. Most went to Value Village. I had a hard time parting with many items, but I knew that I would feel like I was trying too hard if I wore them. Do middle-aged women wear dresses with empire waists? How about shorts? Spaghetti straps? Bright colours? Skinny jeans? See through tops?

Since I was unsure and insecure about what constituted age-appropriate casual wear, I went to the source of all popular culture, the Internet.

I started with Oprah, the former queen of daytime TV. She is someone with 11.5 million likes on Facebook and a staggering 32.7M followers on Twitter. I bet most of them are women. What does she say? She’s an influencer. On her site, I found an article discussing what NOT to wear over 50. These would include mini skirts, bare midriff, tube tops (ewwh), shredded denim, tunics worn as dresses, bright nail polish, and rompers.

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The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) goes even further to include no sweatpants with writing on the bum, thigh high boots, gold chains, see through tops or fishnet stockings. Honestly, this is not helpful. I don’t think these sorts of clothes look good on anyone beyond slim, under 21-year-old girls.

That same AARP site offers fashion tips for women in this age group. They state that wardrobe “must haves” include clothes that “fight the frump and look smart”. These essential pieces include dark denim mid-rise bootcut and straight jeans, white jeans, great fitting pants, black fitted jacket, black pencil skirt, cardigans, tank tops, dresses, and a leather jacket. What? Really? Are these not wardrobe staples for most North American adult women regardless of age?

So I went to the fashion bloggers. To my surprise, there are a number of blogs aimed at 40+ women. Not much for ages 50+ but I guess we are all lumped into the same bucket.

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Patti looks great!

I liked this one if only for the title “Not Dead Yet Style”. Patti is the author of this blog. She is 60+ years old and gorgeous. On Mondays, she invites her followers to become “visible” to counterattack the frequent feeling of being “invisible”. Using a bit of embedded code, readers can celebrate their individual style by linking a photo of “any outfit, accessory, jewelry piece, hairstyle, cosmetic or other adornment” to Patti’s site. This is a way for her readers to share their individual styles with a look that makes them happy, confident and more “alive”.

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Lucy looks so tall!

One of Patti’s recommended fashion blogs is run by Lucy at Fashion Should Be Fun, Style Over 40. Lucy just turned 50 and also looks fabulous. I cannot get over how tall she looks. And if she isn’t that tall, she sure knows how to dress the part. She runs a Fashion Friday linkup blog hop. Perhaps this is like a virtual beer run but for fashion blogs? In any case, it sounds like fun and there might be something to learn. I think I will try it at some point.

Susan looking chic going to the dentist

Then I went to see Susan B. at “Une Femme d’un Certain Age“. This expression is a French euphemism for “middle-aged+ woman who doesn’t want to reveal her age”. With a French title such as this, I am expecting expensive outfits right out of Vogue selected by a high-end stylist. To my surprise, I find a woman who has a casual style similar to my own. She is a Francophile as I am. That’s probably why I like what she is wearing.

105 year old Beatrice Wood

Lastly, I look into a social medium that I have not understood up to now – Pinterest. JACKPOT! This is way better than a Google images search. There are tons of photos up here of famous and not so famous women wearing everything and anything. Look, there is even a 105-year-old woman rocking an exotic teal blue silk outfit. This is inspirational!

As mentioned above, I am a Francophile. When I lived in France in my twenties, I felt inadequate until I slowly adopted the uniform of young French women. That meant jeans, leather jacket, good quality shoes, a scarf worn just so and most importantly, an attitude. Although so much has changed over the years, when I watch this, I realize that it really hasn’t. I’m glad that my fashion destiny is not limited to loud floral prints and stretchy pants but if that’s what I wanted, it would be OK. It’s not what you wear, it’s how you wear it.